Slashers & Serial Killers
Getting stabbed, tortured, or dismembered by some crazed psychotic slasher is never a pleasant experience. If you don't want to end up a bloody corpse, read this list of ways to make it through a serial killer horror movie.
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Never do anything because someone dares you.
When someone tells you not to go somewhere, listen to them.
Never take a bath or shower, especially if you are alone. Dirty and alive is better than being clean and a corpse.
If you are a man, get away as quickly as possible. The last surviving character is almost always a woman.
If you are a woman, never go topless. You are as good as dead if you do. Boobies are the kiss of death.
Don’t be the wise-cracking kid, jokester, or prankster. You won’t live any longer than a topless woman.
Never go to summer camp, into forests, old motels, or any rural places
If someone has arrived to help, run away. That person is going to die very soon or is the serial killer.
Don’t take back roads to save time. Always stay on highways and busy roads. They are called short “cuts” for a reason.
When running away from an axe-wielding slasher, don’t look back. He won’t be there. He will be in front of you.
Never take a short-cut through the woods, by a cemetery, old school or hospital. It’s called a short “cut” for a reason.
Never swim in a lake and under no circumstance go swimming at night or go skinny dipping.
If you hear a noise from upstairs, it’s not the wind.
Never have sex if you want to live. Virgins are less likely to be mutilated and killed.
If you decide to go skinny dipping, make sure you say good bye to all your friends. You’re going to die.
Never ever pick up a pick up a hitch hiker. He is either the psychotic serial killer or will soon be murdered by him.
When you answer the phone and hear deep breathing, it’s not your boyfriend. Leave immediately because the killer is already inside the house.
Never go to a party at an old mansion, rural home, or high school.
Listen to crazy people who tell you about the evil that is around.
Don’t go to a carnival or sideshow. And if you do, under no circumstance go into the funhouse.
